Streamlined Elvis still has That Old Magic
by Dianna Sheram
National Tattler

Elvis Presley has shed 30 pounds of fat and is back on tour, almost as slim as swivel-hipped as ever - and definitely possessing the magic that drives female fans wild.

Launching his summer 1975 tour which wind up in Las Vegas in September, King Elvis generated several near riots as thousands showed up to see for themselves if it wastrue that he was too fat to perform properly.

The reports of an elephant-like Elvis proved happily to be no longer true.

The new, streamlined Elvis kicked off his tour in Huntsville, Ala.

By the time he left town, there was a sizable casualty list - caused by the crush of fans going out of control.

FIVE TEENAGED GIRLS suffered bone breaks and bruises when they tried to leap from a balcony almost, but not quite overhanging to the stage.

They missed, and landed on concrete. Two wound up in the hospital.

Eight adult women tried a flying wedge past a security guard to get to their hero.

They failed too, but the guard - whose orders were apparently to stand and die at his post if necessary - barely escaped serious injury.

As it was, he was pinned and had the breath knocked out of him.

Another guard had a finger badly bitten, requiring several stitches.

One can't really say for sure that a fat, sloppy Elvis would not have generated the same hysteria and violence.

AT ANY RATE , his regimen of strict diet and exercise over the past few weeks obviously paid off in his stage present. He had no trouble bending over to kiss the girls who somehow made it unharmed to the edge of the stage.

His hip-swinging routine revealed only a small roll of fat above the belt, in an amount that nearly all 40 year old men would find acceptable. The roll of flesh only slightly inhibited his movements.

After doing his first number, the rock-and-roll standard "C.C.Rider," Elvis stood still except for slightly twitching one thigh.

The squeals and the screams might have shattered crystal had there been any on stage.

AFTER SOME MINUTES, the din subsided, and the King began joshing with his subjects.

"Well," he said teasingly, "I'll just stand here and do this, if

that's all you want me to do."

"Noooo," came the shrill reply from thousands of females throats.

"All right then," he said launching another song.

As it ended, he leaned over the stage to touch a little girl's cheek. She was about eight years old, a bit frightened.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked her. Seeing she was, he touched her slightly and gave her one of his scarfs. Perhaps he was thinking of his own daughter Lisa, who is about the same age.

LATER, ELVIS got a kiss from a very attractive young woman. On one knee at the edge of the stage, he told her: "You got to me, you know that, don't you?"

The young woman's day obvioulsy was made.

Then he said: "A few weeks ago, another girl kissed me like that and gave me some kind of jungle rot. Now you've got it."

He laughed with delight as he sprang up and returned to center stage.

All in all, it seems that The King is in his finest hour. By the time he gets to Las Vegas, half the women in the U.S. may be walking around with Elvis' imaginary disease.

Courtesy of Mark van Hout